Hi Reader , i not sure how many people still read about my life since i didn't post for awhile. but God is good for me, even in the weaker moment of my life. e.g I getting Moody at this time.

Why because of my Mom, she can't sleep due to Money Problem come and made it into my problem. Sometime i really felt like just go and End my LIFE and See Jesus early.
but i knew that not the right thing to do. because if i do that i won't end up with Jesus but i will go TO HELL.
My mom problem didn't been solve even with the help of her church. her monthly pay is not enough to clear all her Personal Loan. and other cost. sometime i thinking is it wise for her to seek help from her church if she didn't be wise with her money in the first place.

For the past 2 month once she got the aid fund but she didn't right away to pay those thing which the fund should go to. I really pray for my mom, and cry own my own timing for her but she just don't understand that what she been doing at home , its kinda giving me stress as the oldest son of the family. during my one year with UOB.
I almost everyday was stress from home and abit from work during the early stage. but even when i overcome my work stress, the family problem is still there to hunt me down. i can't take it after about a year with work. so i quit and now slacking my life off till can get into Poly again . but i knew deep in my heart if i don't heal fast i can't fight for my poly for the grade or the fee both. as when i moody , i don't felt like doing anything to earn money.
I sometime get project from company or do massage for some people to earn some cash. since i can't relay on my mom for pocket money. i had alot of thing to pay own my own too.

Thing like

1. Bill
2. Credit card
3. Daily allowance

I really hope that God can sent someone to help my mom, and i able to seek someone to help myself too. i still young at my 20s,  which i not well funded on my own.
i knew that the true why my life is like this because of my dad is not my real dad. which i found out 2 year ago.
But even when he didn't do his best as a dad. i knew he do care for the family on his own world. when i moody i really can't stop myself to find him to start a fight.
which i knew its not a right thing to do . i knew i am weak in my emotion, No matter what i just pray for my family to get better and pray for my mom to be wise in her money.
the only peace i can find its in Church. and outside which i think not the right thing about it .
the real peace came from deep down from the heart which God can touch and rewnewel my spirit.
no matter how much i can be anger and emotion about. i knew i love my mom ALOT no matter how noisy and pissing she can be.

I just pray that she see the picture soon. before its too late to made anything changing